He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
