It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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