wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
