I want to stick my p in your. b.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
