you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
