the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
