I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I will pee on everything he values.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
