last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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