Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
