My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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