sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
