So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize