I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
