it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
