i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
