Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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