so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
