Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
