Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
