I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize