i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
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