Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
