well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
