I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Randomize