You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
