Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
