I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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