My underwear smells like fireworks.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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