I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
