think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
