It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Randomize
