Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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