I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
