I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm just crazy horny about you
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
