get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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