i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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