You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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