You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
