Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
