Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
