i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize