4 words: hood of his car
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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