i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
