Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize