Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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