my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
