she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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