My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
