we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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