PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
