i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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