Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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