is your mom at the bar?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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