question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
