Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
