she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
