im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
