Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
