So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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