He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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