none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
you made out with another girl for some wings
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
