That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
